no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
