dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
