i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
