I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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