I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize