I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
