god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
high people should be assigned attendants
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
