the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
