Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
