I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
birth control should be required to get into college
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
