dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
