Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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