Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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