Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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