I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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