A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize