HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
