Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We were destined to go to rehab together
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
