I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
