its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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