Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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