somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
