the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
