also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
