i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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