Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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