Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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