I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We talked him into tasing himself.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
