I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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