WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
