did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
