very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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