He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
