do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
