You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
