just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
