i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
