I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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