i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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