spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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