I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
