Don't you send me to vm
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
