Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
