why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
