I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
