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• (949): View more from California

  just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"

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• (207): View more from Maine

  His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch

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• (619): View more from California

  Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2

  (619): View more from California

  Bring a helmet for your liver

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• (713): View more from Texas

  The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.

  (713): View more from Texas

  Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit

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