No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
