With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
