Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
