She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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