it wasn't lemon gatorade
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize