so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
