Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
