OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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