what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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