I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I understand Curling. That high.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
