I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This baby is an asshole
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
