wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
