TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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