my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize