FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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