The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
