Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize