she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize